Of Ducks and Men

So often, in this age of instant information, man does not take the time to understand the relationships of the minutiae, the myriad interactions of the elements of the cosmic web. A complex pattern forms in the roil -- the modern logical mind shrieks in dismay, appalled by a seeming need to assimilate/understand the data presented -- however, those of us unburdened by the constraints of logical thought immediately leap into action, deriving tremendous insights and fearlessly bridging gaps of knowledge with the spider silk of assumption and the library paste of conjecture. We, the non-linear thinkers, are the true pioneers, exploring the impossible possibilities visible only to the boldly ignorant.

Seldom are we acknowledged for the discoveries made through simple application of non-linear thought. If it weren't for our heroes -- such as the writer who discovered that an electric clothes drier opens a trans-dimensional portal to a universe of lost socks -- we would certainly be the poorer. (I would be able to provide measurements of the portal and the nature of its structure; but each time I open the drier, it stops; doubtless collapsing the inter-dimensional interface, yet still leaving me with one odd sock.)

What, you ask, do these wonders of nature have to do with fly fishing? Everything! For example, you watch me cast and assume I am a creature of rare ineptitude. What you don't perceive is that the during the casting interval, between forward cast and backcast, I compensated for the Correolis effect -- although it looked like I slipped on a stone. It would be ideal if we did not require these constant corrections in our casting because of tidal forces, global warming, and those pesky Japanese butterflies that cause hurricanes; yet as long as those butterflies flutter, my otherwise elegant and graceful casting must adjust accordingly.

Successful fly tiers must constantly think in a non-linear manner. Just as science has discovered that a paperclip is the nymphal form of the emergent wire-coathanger; so too, fly tiers are constantly, by a perception available only to them, discerning associations necessary to our success astream. We can speculate about the nymphal form of the Royal Coachman and sleep at night; but in recent years tiers have given us some foam-bodied, rubber-legged, size #2, long-shanked hell-hounds that could easily shuck their husks and emerge for a casting call in "Aliens 3".

The marketing of fly rods is aimed squarely, or circularly, at the non-linear thinker. How else could they expect to sell fly rods based upon "the latest submarine technology"? Of course, we, the fly fisherpeople unimpaired by logical thought, immediately discern myriad benefits in such an implement. Doubtless, next time we over-step in deep water and go drifting downriver, our fly rod will serve as both snorkel and periscope.

A new Orvis "Zero Gravity" fly rod is on my list wish for Ayyam-i-Ha. My mind is reeling at the implications of a fly rod formed in the core of a planet; for, as we know, the gravitational force is zero everywhere within a hollow spherically symmetrical planet. And this new rod is not merely weightless but is without a gravitational force of its own. Thus, with no internal gravity, it should reduce itself immediately to its component "strange quarks", "charmed quarks", and other subatomic particles -- but the manufacturer doesn't mention this in his advertizing. Therefore, we reason, this fly rod is a trans-dimensional element of untold capabilities -- least of which will be its ability to cast. Some minds, the boggly kind, boggle at the thought.

© 2006 Reed F. Curry